Parents and carers of children with special needs chat thread #3

[Kiwi Bicycle]

28 minutes ago, Fruitmincepies said:

10yo DD has started LA rit. I’m noticing that she’s very talkative. She’s always talked a lot, but it’s different. Maybe the conversations are longer and more focused, less getting distracted? Anyway, it’s very noticeable and I’m just wondering if anyone else has observed this in their kids? 

Ds talked in circles without meds. So he would be repetitive and excited.

On meds, he doesn't repeat himself and keeps his train of thought better. 

 

[Lizzybirdsworth]

I’m really worried about ds2. He is obsessed with death, hitler, terrorism, trump, dark humour. He is 13 and we have a psychologist. My dil seems to think it’s age appropriate because he is interested in the facts and information (she is in her last yr of psychology). We see the paediatrician next month but I just don’t know how to deal with it. It freaks so many people out. He doesn’t have much social awareness to not talk about it. 

[Kiwi Bicycle]

11 minutes ago, Lizzybirdsworth said:

I’m really worried about ds2. He is obsessed with death, hitler, terrorism, trump, dark humour. He is 13 and we have a psychologist. My dil seems to think it’s age appropriate because he is interested in the facts and information (she is in her last yr of psychology). We see the paediatrician next month but I just don’t know how to deal with it. It freaks so many people out. He doesn’t have much social awareness to not talk about it. 

Is he giving " goth" vibes? It's about the age people start gravitating towards that culture.

https://www.whatisgoth.com/

[Lizzybirdsworth]

He does like a lot of what is described there. Thanks! I hadn’t even considered that. 

[Julie3Girls]

10 hours ago, Panda said:

I have a paediatrician appointment for DD in FEB for an ADHD assessment.

My concern is, how will they get the teachers feedback if she is starting year 1 next year and would not have had the new teacher for long? Would they consider sending the questions to her prep teacher? Would a paediatrician be able to just diagnose without the questions sent to her teacher.. I'm confident they will be able to see it in the 20 minute interaction with her (physically visible) and visible if engaging in conversation with her on any topic that isn't interesting to her. There are a lot of impulsive behaviours that are only seen at home as she seems to be suppressing these at school.

My second concern is that she is so ahead academically and I worry that the questions will be based around performance at school.

The prep teacher has made comments like DD struggles to stay seated once she has finished her work and one of her gaols is to stay in her seat rather then wonder around to see what her classmates are doing. At home DD struggles to stay seated whenever she is doing a non preferred activity.. eating breakfast.. she will get up 50 times, wiggle in her seat constantly.. constantly fidgeting. 

Prep teacher has also made goals around DD putting her hand up to either answer questions or ask questions and the goal was for her to try to first think of the question instead of putting her hand up and then coming up with it. What I think happens is that she does think of the question but gets distracted and forgets it. It's very easy for her to get distracted. DDs focus /ADHD seems to go away when she is actively playing with other kids, she's so switched on during games but during relaxed interactions/class time/ at home during anything that isnt exciting to her..its like competing with 10 voices in her head.

 

When we had school questionaires, the pyschologist just passed them to me, and I passed them onto the school. So was able to choose who did them.  I would definitely get the prep teacher to do them. Get the forms now, get them filled in during term 4.

[Eu_]

@Lizzybirdsworth

I dont find that to be all that unusual.  It can be problematic though...eg lots of people won't be keen on talking about Hitler and in some circumstances it might be considered inappropriate.  

I'd try to encourage other interests or influence thus a little, eg there may be history clubs or similar you could look into 

[Lizzybirdsworth]

@Eu_ my dil has suggested that he might be learning it at school so that could be why he has fixated on it. The other week it was Linkin park and the musician who had passed a few yrs ago. He dances and does origami so he has lots of hobbies and interests, this one just concerns me. 

[Kiwi Bicycle]

2 hours ago, Lizzybirdsworth said:

@Eu_ my dil has suggested that he might be learning it at school so that could be why he has fixated on it. The other week it was Linkin park and the musician who had passed a few yrs ago. He dances and does origami so he has lots of hobbies and interests, this one just concerns me. 

Oh my Gee, everyone's talking about the new lead singer of Linkin Park, her support Danny Masterton during his trial for rape and her being a Scientologist ( so anti mental health,  something Chester was a big advocate about) and whether she was part of the group of Scientologists who harassed Masterton's victims at court ( she was there watching in that day). It blew up my FB feed and I am not a Stan, just like a few songs.

Edited 15 hours ago by Kiwi Bicycle

[Panda]

@Lizzybirdsworth I think this might be ok at 13 and it sounds like he is gravitating a bit towards goth culture. At around that age, those topics become interesting and not scary..where as for an example it might scare a 10 yo. I remember at around that age, I was able to watch scary movies with my friends and that was cool. It was the first time we started feeling more grown up. Liking rock bands was also cool and everything that comes with rock bands.  I remember my friends and I talking about Kurt Cobain and if he really died or if he was murdered. They absolutely start talking about political things at around 12/13.. wars, trump, terrorism.. all normal themes. We have to remember not to apply adult social rules to kids and look at what their peers are doing instead.

[Elmo]

6 hours ago, Fruitmincepies said:

10yo DD has started LA rit. I’m noticing that she’s very talkative. She’s always talked a lot, but it’s different. Maybe the conversations are longer and more focused, less getting distracted? Anyway, it’s very noticeable and I’m just wondering if anyone else has observed this in their kids? 

That's interesting because I actually find that DS doesn't talk as much when his meds are working! What he does say is probably more thought out, but he is definitely a lot more quiet with meds. 

[Saphy]

8 hours ago, Fruitmincepies said:

10yo DD has started LA rit. I’m noticing that she’s very talkative. She’s always talked a lot, but it’s different. Maybe the conversations are longer and more focused, less getting distracted? Anyway, it’s very noticeable and I’m just wondering if anyone else has observed this in their kids? 

Talking like conversations or like monologues? Only if it’s her conversation (that she’s started) or for your conversations too? IME kids (especially girls) who have done this have ended up also diagnosed as autistic. The ADHD seems to masked some of their autistic traits, but when that’s properly treated, the autistic traits become more noticeable. 

This might not be your DD at all, but thought I’d mention in case it resonates (with you or anyone else reading along). 

[Fruitmincepies]

1 hour ago, Saphy said:

Talking like conversations or like monologues? Only if it’s her conversation (that she’s started) or for your conversations too? IME kids (especially girls) who have done this have ended up also diagnosed as autistic. The ADHD seems to masked some of their autistic traits, but when that’s properly treated, the autistic traits become more noticeable. 

This might not be your DD at all, but thought I’d mention in case it resonates (with you or anyone else reading along). 

It’s on the radar as a possibility. We are seeing what changes with the ADHD meds, as emotional regulation is a big part of things. 

They are two-way conversations, I just don’t get much of a word in. Generally she will start the conversation I think, but I’ll pay more attention and see. 

[Prancer]

Meds slowed down my kid’s talking, but in a good way.  He spoke too fast before meds and was hard to understand. His teacher advised she could understand him better.

[Julie3Girls]

Speech speed was a thing for dd. She would talk really really fast, just her brain running so fast she was trying to keep up. Especially if anxious or excited about something. She kind of goes into fast forward. 

Meds slows her speech down. Still talks just as much, but a better speed. 

 

[Princess Peach]

17 hours ago, Julie3Girls said:

When we had school questionaires, the pyschologist just passed them to me, and I passed them onto the school. So was able to choose who did them.  I would definitely get the prep teacher to do them. Get the forms now, get them filled in during term 4.

Agree totally.

However so long as the teacher has a few years experience behind them - as soon as you give them the questionaire they will start paying detailed attention to the kid & pick up all the quirks. My DS flew under the radar until i handed the form to his teacher - there are a higher than average number of kids in his year level with ADHD & ASD diagnosis - majority of them behavioural issues, all of his year level classes now have a full time aide with them, which is not normal for the school past prep level.

And academic performance does not count in this- my own kid is 2e, and i have not only a brother, but myself & 3 other cousins diagnosed ADHD-i, the 6 of us are also classified as gifted academically (one is a literal genius).